too far from the city. we came to breathe clean air. nature's lovers safe oasis. and the mothers walked towards the forest.

or my love is a lion.
i do have a crazy love for concrete. but i can not forget the forest.
our mother forced me and my brother out to pick berries and we fought for our lives in the hallway. no i am not taking on my shoes. i am not going. i wanted to wear my nice dress and no ugly warm jacket. my mother was even more stubborn than us and all of a sudden, still in protest though, we were on our bikes.
but there has to be something about the fresh air. some supernatural substance putting a spell on you, because an hour later we always realized the magic of the woods. we were in another world, where we could be and do whatever we wanted. we were free in our fantasies. like when we lived in the country side of finland and i built my home on a big stone on the yard. i was wearing my grandmothers old skirt. far way to big for me and completely unpractical since i kept on stumbling on it. but it was so beautiful. or visiting my grandmother. picking berries and thread them on a straw. watching out for the snakes. hunting lizards that hides under the barn doorstep. investigating the house we thought were haunted. 
i remember this moment so strongly. when i realized we were actually moving to sweden. everything was packed. i hid. i hid in my blanket and wrapped me into a cocoon. no i am not taking on my shoes. i am not going. i am happy here. for years, i said i am going back. i am not staying in this fucking country. and even though i ended up just moving further away, i still have days when i get these colossal cravings. today is that kind of day. when all i want is to be a white reindeer in a fabulous dress.

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